The relationship we had lasted from the night of July 1st 2011 until May 7th 2012.
It now feels like a slightly surreal dream I must sometimes have stumbled into next to ordinary life and have now woken up from.
I remember a dazzling summer full of exhausting curiosity and heat where it all started, a warm, magical autumn bursting with colours and full of increasingly familiar bliss, and then an unusual winter, one that went by without any snow staying for longer than one day. A mild winter.
Date-wise, you could say that we have already arrived at spring now, but after a small number of very summery days some weeks ago, it has become cold and unpleasant again. During those last weeks, being together was something that seemed as a matter of course on the one hand and like a forced thing on the other hand; all the while in the waiting-line for a better tomorrow where we would finally be living in the same city again. But it never came.
The weather-wise summery spring that must now be about to come feels like waking back up to the same summer in which I must have slipped off into this long long dream at some point.
While the relationship lasted, the life I had had before, in turn, seemed like a dream. Having been without him did. Like something that was a necessary start, and a past that is rightfully a part of me and has formed me, but now no longer needed, and very far away. As if it was stuffed away in a box in the same room. It was there, and it was accessible, but no one needed to take it out and make it real except for when I told its tale to share my story and intertwine it with his through our memories.
The relationship – to me – seems like a slightly surreal dream now. And neither the relationship nor a dream ever seems surreal until you actually wake up.
This fits a feeling from inside the dream. The peace and secure of falling asleep and drifting away into dreams together.
Beyond this beautiful horizon
Lies a dream for you and I
This tranquil scene is still unbroken by the rumors in the sky
But there’s a storm closing in
Voices crying on the wind
This serenade is growing colder, breaks my soul that tries to sing
There’s so many, many thoughts
When I try to go to sleep
But with you, I start to feel a sort of temporary peace
As I drift in and out