This is a pencil portrait of my ex C that I mainly worked on in January this year. I did some finishing touches towards completion during May when we broke up, to get it over with and because I cared too much about the drawing itself and the feelings inside it to just throw it aside prematurely. It’s still not very “finished”, but as usual, the sketchy way it is will have to do and I don’t mind leaving it like this forever. I like sketchiness.
For a week or two lately, I didn’t even like to think of the drawing as it only reminded me of the very uncivil, angering way he ended our relationship.
By now, I have pretty much gotten over this last angry stage, and now the drawing means something new to me – it is an expression of the pure, curious, newfound love that he made me feel at the beginning of our relationship, when I was bewildered, confused, exhausted, blissful and happy. It was when those few obstacles that arose seemed like an offer from life for me to just jump over light-heartedly and to deepen our relationship.
It doesn’t picture him how he is as a person and how I know him to be now anymore, it depicts the love I felt and the image I had of him. I am somewhat at peace.
The portrait is loosely based on a photo from our 9-day-self-planned-big-travel-and-hiking-trip to Sweden in August 2011. It was a sunny dreamy afternoon in our cottage, after a small hike in the woods and self-made dinner.
Also, refer to this pic for some alternate lulz.