It occured to me that I should take a bit of time to ponder again what I like about my friends and tell them.
I think we tend to assume that our friends somehow simply know that the things we know we like about them are really cool – personality traits, interests, tastes and opinions, or ways to live – but I guess that is not always so. People always have doubts and wonder how they can be a better, more-fully-themselves version of themselves, in their own terms; and if you tell them what you appreciate about them, in your terms, you can open up a really special window of communication. You can take part in your friend’s persistent internal debate that we all have with ourselves, usually unshared.
And as little as a simple comment like this – ‘You know, I really like this about you, that you …’ – shows your recognising, acknowledging and reflecting on their very own human project of self-creation. That’s a really neat message to convey, isn’t it?